we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
