did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize