Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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