can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
