Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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