How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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