the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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