I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
