There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
