how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
