tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
