What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I need water and some morals
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
