So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
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