She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize