I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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