Where did you get a picture of my penis
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
