I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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