i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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