I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
