Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My dad just said "fuck circus"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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