im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize