is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize