god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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