I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
