the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
