She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
