Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
