This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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