you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
