I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
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