The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
