I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
