Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
