Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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