Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My liver just had a heart attack.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
