homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
