After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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