I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize