wanna go halves on a baby?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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