Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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