im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
