She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
