Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
