its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have aggressive nipples.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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