i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
