that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize