her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
