i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
