i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
