Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
