Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You can't motorboat a personality
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
