You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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