Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
