u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
