He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
