at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
