i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
