I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
