dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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