There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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