So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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